Beautiful post! The elders question preoccupied me in 2023 too. I'm training in grief tending with Francis Weller at the moment -- he frames apprenticing to grief as the process of creating elders. He has some beautiful words about what an elder is in "An apprenticeship with sorrow" here
"Elders are a composite of contradictions: fierce and forgiving, joyful and melancholy, intense and spacious, solitary and communal... Ultimately, each elder is a storehouse of living memory, a carrier of wisdom. Theirs are the voices that rise on behalf of the commons, at times fiery, at times beseeching. They live outside culture yet are its greatest protectors, becoming wily dispensers of love and blessings. They offer a resounding “Yes” to the generations that follow. That is their legacy and gift."
Bless you, dear lady, and thank you for your beautiful, thought-provoking post. I will be 71 in March. I am still not sure just how that happened. The last time I looked, I swear I was 19. The topic of elders is much on my mind these days. I am the sole remaining elder of my family-no one older than me remains. It matters how I model elderness to my children, my grandchildren, my friends, my community. There are physical changes that growing older bring. Often, I fiercely rally against those changes, and when spent, I accept them. However, how I express those elder changes is my choice. For me, there is elegance to elderhood. I walk with grace, serenity, wisdom. I do not complain (at least, not aloud). I do not accept crap, and have learned that a well-placed, righteously expressed "f-you" from what appears to be a sweet little grandmother garners attention; it carries weight. I do not let go; I do not turn my back and let it be someone else's problem. I act. This is the gift, the legacy I want for my grandchildren. 'elders-past, present, and becoming...'
Gorgeous writing. I turn 60 next week (how?!) and so much of what you write resonates with me. I think a lot about what it takes to be an elder and whether I have what it takes, and whether it matters at all to those around me. Since women are not allowed to age, can we even be elders anymore? And what does society lose because of that? I’ll be re-reading this essay many times, thank you so much.
Ffffffuck wow...thank you for this. All of this. I came to your essay AFTER just registering for your Twenty Two practice!, which feels so necessary and so right and yet I’m so scared (am on west coast time, so sad to miss the live!!! THANK YOU FOR OFFERING A RECORDING!!). Also I just turned 43, and am definitely getting acquainted with a new perimenopausal body. It feels nourishing to know I’ll be in circle with other perimenos riding these internal and external waves.
Very much needed to read this this morning.♥️
🙏🏼 thank you for reading
Beautiful post! The elders question preoccupied me in 2023 too. I'm training in grief tending with Francis Weller at the moment -- he frames apprenticing to grief as the process of creating elders. He has some beautiful words about what an elder is in "An apprenticeship with sorrow" here
https://www.francisweller.net/writings.html
"Elders are a composite of contradictions: fierce and forgiving, joyful and melancholy, intense and spacious, solitary and communal... Ultimately, each elder is a storehouse of living memory, a carrier of wisdom. Theirs are the voices that rise on behalf of the commons, at times fiery, at times beseeching. They live outside culture yet are its greatest protectors, becoming wily dispensers of love and blessings. They offer a resounding “Yes” to the generations that follow. That is their legacy and gift."
Thank you so much!
Bless you, dear lady, and thank you for your beautiful, thought-provoking post. I will be 71 in March. I am still not sure just how that happened. The last time I looked, I swear I was 19. The topic of elders is much on my mind these days. I am the sole remaining elder of my family-no one older than me remains. It matters how I model elderness to my children, my grandchildren, my friends, my community. There are physical changes that growing older bring. Often, I fiercely rally against those changes, and when spent, I accept them. However, how I express those elder changes is my choice. For me, there is elegance to elderhood. I walk with grace, serenity, wisdom. I do not complain (at least, not aloud). I do not accept crap, and have learned that a well-placed, righteously expressed "f-you" from what appears to be a sweet little grandmother garners attention; it carries weight. I do not let go; I do not turn my back and let it be someone else's problem. I act. This is the gift, the legacy I want for my grandchildren. 'elders-past, present, and becoming...'
Love this, love you, buon compleanno sorella ❤️
Grazie mille cara
Gorgeous writing. I turn 60 next week (how?!) and so much of what you write resonates with me. I think a lot about what it takes to be an elder and whether I have what it takes, and whether it matters at all to those around me. Since women are not allowed to age, can we even be elders anymore? And what does society lose because of that? I’ll be re-reading this essay many times, thank you so much.
This is such a good question: can we even be elders anymore!?
Ffffffuck wow...thank you for this. All of this. I came to your essay AFTER just registering for your Twenty Two practice!, which feels so necessary and so right and yet I’m so scared (am on west coast time, so sad to miss the live!!! THANK YOU FOR OFFERING A RECORDING!!). Also I just turned 43, and am definitely getting acquainted with a new perimenopausal body. It feels nourishing to know I’ll be in circle with other perimenos riding these internal and external waves.
So happy to have you dear one! Thank you for reading and showing up however you do 🖤🖤🖤